musings from a crockpot crackpot....

I have the ugliest crockpot on the planet. So ugly, that its ashamed to be photographed. Its so ugly it will never be retro, like those early 60's pink appliances. Its a melonish, mustardish, speckled moldy-orange color, and isn't even made of crockery, but some metallic, teflon coated substance that sits on a separate griddle. But like most things, its what inside that counts.

Today, there was split-pea soup inside. I've been a split-pea soup lover since childhood. Blame the George and Martha books. For those who were deprived, George and Martha are hippos and best friends. In one story, Martha makes lots split-pea soup because she thinks George likes it. George does not. George despises split-pea soup, but he doesn't want to hurt her feelings and pretends to eat it. So he is forced to find all kinds of devious ways to dispose of the stuff, my favorite being dumping the soup in his shoes. Since childhood, the image of him with soup in his shoes has made me smile, and contrarily I've turned into a grown-up who is very fond of both making AND eating split-pea soup.

For years I've used the split-pea soup recipe from the "Good Enough to Eat"cookbook. But this morning, stressed for time, energy and motivation, and the thought of having to do dinner was more than I could bear. Half-asleep, I threw in a Women's Bean Project Soup mix into the ugly crockpot with a ham hock and two cans of chicken broth and left for work. When I came home it was like alchemy. My normal recipe, which takes twice as much work, and couldn't compare. This soup was good. Like both the kids had two servings, good. Like you could throw it in a shoe, and serve it to hippos, good. And at this crazed, stressed out, impossible time of year, for the simple and sublime to happen at the same time ( in the most humble of crockpots) - is a true christmas miracle.

Cobwebs & Cookies

First, I need to get the cobwebs, dust bunnies and stray bits out of dog hair out of the corners of this place... its been that long since I've visited my blog. Luckily, my blog isn't like my daughter's Tamagotchi where neglect sends it the thing into a squacking tizzy that reminds you how painfully self-absorbed you are for living your life instead of tending to your technology.

With that out of the way, its back to business. There has been knitting...
This started out as a Twinkle Diagonal Stitch sweater for me. A week after I saw the pattern in Vogue Knitting, I saw Nordstrom selling the same exact sweater from Twinkle for 381$.
That's insane, I thought, I can knit that *and* if I use the Lion Brand Thick and Chunky, I'll save myself 320$!! Feeling quite smart, I knit a gauge swatch that seemed close enough.. but not close enough for comfort. After two weeks of very enjoyable knitting, I tried on the body to find it wayyy to small. There is a reason that the Twinkle Classic Elite yarn is 17$ a skein, and Lion Brand is only $4.99. Karma does not like knock-offs. Happily, my daughter does.

And there has been eating. Saturday, I stopped by our local Indian market, looking for dinner and emptied out their frozen food coolers. I got frozen naan (that yummy flat bread), frozen Palek Paneer, frozen samosas, and spice mix for Chana Masala (Curried Chickpeas). It was all amazing... like getting really great take out, but half the price, and four times as healthy. I'm now on a mission to check out the frozen food sections of all the other ethnic markets in town. No more frozen pizza for us!

But the best discovery has been this recipe.
In a season of baking bacchanalia, chocolate chip cookies seem like a bit -well- boring. But these are everything a chocolate chip cookie should be. Sweet, but not cloying. Crisp, but not brittle. Chewy, but not gummy. I've tried the Neiman Marcus cookies, Toll House and everything in-between. This is the only recipe I've found worth the considerable restraint it takes not to eat all the dough before baking.

Comfort food

Today it was 100+ degrees and the summer doldrums hit me harder than an Ike Turner wanna-be. The airconditioning seemed to be too hot or too cold. The kids seemed to be in under a different force of gravity than the rest of the world, because everytime I turned around they seemed to be dropping, breaking or spilling something.

But this spicy little number put the spring back in my step. Everything I love about Buffalo Chicken wings was amplified - crispy spicy chicken with cool creamy slaw made my belly very very happy. True, slaving over the stove frying chicken isn't most people's idea of spending a hot summer afternoon, but OmyOmy was it worth it. I need to plot my strategy now to make sure I get the leftovers tomorrow.

I should have known better....

In case you haven't noticed, there hasn't been a rash of finished objects on this blog lately. Life follows art (or is it vise-versa?).



I've been hit with a string (no pun intended) of bad knitting mojo. From the lost sock incident, to the sweater that will not end.... I've been knitting a lot but don't have much to show for it.



But when I committed to Tea Rose Halter Top from the Spring 2007 Interweave Knits I thought this would be the pattern that would change all that... the would be the pattern to put the spring back in my needles. And for a while - deep in the first blush of young love - it did. The lace fell into place and the cotton-ease yarn had beautiful stitch definition. It was as if fate brought us together until the one dark day when I let doubt creep in... when I thought that maybe the designer didn't know what she was doing and that I needed more proof. I decided to try the sweater on mid-project.

Of course the stitch protectors at the end of the needles popped right off as I squeezed the circulars past my shoulders - and with them went six rows of stitches. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but reconstructing lace with YO and INC and DEC in random places requires a more evolved knitter than I can ever hope to be. I managed to sort-of reconstruct my indiscretions, but I knew the trust was gone and I couldn't go on. There was nothing else to do but cast off and hoped for the best.
In the end, I was left with a too-short halter that left my heart (and breasts) naked and exposed. Maybe someday I'll find the words (and the perfect edge pattern) to pick up the stitches and mend my wicked ways ... but for now its a reminder to be more patient and trusting.

petty diversions....

For my dear friends and all of us who love them, this last weekend has been impossibly sad...
No matter what Oprah and all those airy-eyed people on 'The Secret' videos say, really really bad things do happen to good people for no good reason. I keep wishing, wanting, manifesting someway to make it all better for them, but I can't and for that I'm angry at God, the goddess and the Universe right now.

For relief, I turned to one of my favorite knitting-porn sites, Garnstudio. I love the fresh-faced Swedish women relaxing on the beach in their easy, free-flowing, European cardigans. However, tonight, they must have been cleaning out the archive from the ABBA concert collection, because when I clicked on the link that lets you see the most recently patterns, I saw this:

Nothing says 'knit-me' like sleeves that can be used to smuggle chihuahuas over the border.

It felt good to smile and laugh and I hope that through all of this my friends can too...soon.

too good to last...

On March 2, the Copyright Royalty Board voted to drastically raise the rates charged to the fledgling internet radio industry. Because these rates are astronomically high in relation to the revenue these radio stations can attract, it will effectively eliminate all but a few (that suck) internet radio stations. Not only does this put a financial bullet in the heart of the most progressive and innovative music sources, like Pandora.com and KCRW.org, but it limits the ability of indie artists to 'break through'.

Click on this link to save the world from the kind of corporate music robotrons who believe that what the world needs is another Celine Dion, Mariah Carey or Michael Bolton.

to have loved and lost...

Holy crap... has it really been a month and a half since my last post?
Where has the time gone?
Dumb question. Its gone into cleaning the floors, washing dishes, working, helping with 4th grade long division, doing laundry, making curry, chasing cats, running over cement barriers that looked like they were covered in ice, replacing car mufflers, praying, buying lime green platform wedge shoes, returning lime green platform wedge shoes, buying mustard green stillettos, helping to practice Suzuki violin, eating (the best ever) ginger scones, making menus for my favorite one-woman cappuchino closet, guilt-fully not planting gladiola bulbs, drinking margaritas, planning a trip to Nashville, getting paid to play musical chairs, practicing a my downward dog posture and - oh yeah- just a bit of knitting.

A month ago, knitting was higher up on the list. I was going to start a new Lenten knitting project and set just two parameters, it had to be mindful project and from my stash. Of course sitting at the top of my stash was 4ply black cashmere and socks are very mindful. First sock went well - wearing a hand knit cashmere socks is like feeding your feet a box of Godiva chocolates. They felt so good that I cruised into the second sock without a hint of the dreaded 'second sock syndrome". Then I hit a very stressful day at work. Big bad dumb day where I would have made more progress trying to communicate in Esperanto than English. Rather than head to the restaurant next door for a martini or three - I thought I'd go to the library and knit a few rows of my lovely lent socks before attacking rush hour. It's quiet, they have comfy chairs, I won't run into anyone I know, I don't have to buy anything. Doesn't this sound like a smart way to combat jangled nerves? Don't I sound smart and disciplined? Isn't this the kind of thing that Jesus would have done if he hadn't been so busy with the Last Supper, prophesising and getting ready to move boulders?

At the library it was quiet, and I knit blissfully in my comfy chair with a killer view of downtown for maybe half an hour when a guard approached me and asks if I had children around.

"UH no - if I had kids around then the whole bliss angle wouldn't really be working for me here..and do you REALLY think that anyone with kids, in a library can just sit and look as not-stressed as I am right now." I thought this thought, but didn't say it because the dude is messed up my stitch count and cashmere gets fuzzy if you rip it out too much. HE then informed me that I needed to leave the comfy chairs because adults can't be in the kids section without kids (I hadn't even noticed I was in the kids section because it was quiet- there were no kids in the kids section) Evidently, business women knitting black cashmere socks for Lent fall into some sort of pedophile profile and endanger all non-existent kids in the kids section.

Every ounce of work-stress I shed came back doubled, because not only do I have to give up my chair with the killer view, but in dealing with him I dropped about 10 stitches. OBVIOUSLY, I couldn't possibly leave until I finished the row. With this proclamation, it appears I've become a menice to society because next he turned away and( I swear I'm not making this up) , pulled out his walkie talkie, called for backup, along with giving out a description of me. Which means that every security guard in the library was on the lookout for a dangerous blond sock knitter. In my haste to leave the library before I did something to the security guard that would get knitting needles banned in public places around the world, I grabbed the second sock with dropped stitches, shot him a truly menacing look and left quickly.

Much to my deep shock, sadness, dismay, regret, and disgust, the first finished cashmere sock did not leave with me. I un-mindfully left the finished sock on the floor under the comfy chair with the killer view. Not one of Mr. Security Guard's friends or collegues turned the lonely sock into Lost and Found.

I like to think my little fuzzy buddy ended up in sock heaven where all of the missing dryer socks go. But in the meantime, its gone baby gone and the love is gone. In its place is a very soft little black sock shaped hole in my heart and picking up the pointy sticks has been bittersweet.

Cream of Chicken Soup Doesn't Always Suck

I can be an awful restaurant companion. If a chef has hidden tamarind in a marinade, I will taste it. Saffron in the reduction? I'll find it. Champagne instead of white wine in the vinaigrette? I'll know. Conversely, if the soup isn't made with real homemade chicken stock, I'll scowl. Don't even try making hollandaise from a mix... lamentably, I'll talk about it all evening.

When I cook at home, I also have very exact ideas about how food should be prepared. Sausage for pasta must be the cut to the same size as the pasta or smaller. The only canned food really appropriate for human consumption is tuna and/or beans. I'm not Martha, and I do slip, but by and large, I'm a foodie with a capital F.

6:00 this evening dinner needed to be on the table. Fast. Hot. Kid Friendly Dinner.
Women reading this everywhere are feeling the universal pit in their stomach right now - right?

Rather than crafting a lovely cassolet or pasta fagiole, I did what moms for generations have done - threw a bunch of processed food in a dish, covered it with cream of chicken soup and baked it - Easy Chicken Pot Pie. Know what? It was the perfect meal on a *&*%!&$ cold night like this. The kids loved it, ate some veggies and the best part is that not only is dinner done, but so are dishes! Its not low fat, but I figure since I'm now living in the arctic, I'll never have use for my bikini again. So in hopes I can spare some of you, dear friends, one night of dinner anxiety, here's the recipe:

Combine in a good sized casserole dish:
*One deli roasted chicken stripped of as much meat as you feel like pulling off
*One bag of your favorite frozen mixed veggies
*One can of cream of chicken soup
*Enough milk or half/half to make the soup soupy
*Pepper
Cover with:
*One can of refrigerator biscuits
*Whatever shredded hunks of cheese are lurking in your fridge
Bake at 425 until biscuits are done and veggies are cooked - About 30 minutes.

multi-post

Forgive me mother for I have sinned. Its been five weeks since my last post.

You know its been a while since you blogged when you freakin' forget your user name AND password. Of course, these days my tiny little brain would forget my own name if it wasn't for on all of the bills from the holiday. There's too much stuff up in my poor head to organize it all properly - so below find random post-ettes regarding:

Adventures in crustacians:

Much as we try not be a cow town, Denver is not exactly known for fine seafood. But the Asian market here has the most beautiful live lobsters. Happy lobsters in tanks so big that you can smell them the minute you walk in the door. Even better, cheap lobsters. The recipe was ridiculously simple - boil water, add lobster. We washed them down with - what else- chilled champagne and realized that money really can buy happiness.

Breakfast (Lunch and Dinner) at Tiffany
I adore the Tiffany mittens featured in Knitty. Faced with a long holiday roadtrip I thought these would be the perfect project and I was right. But not the perfect project for me. I should have had more fair-isle experience before starting solo. Halfway through the first mitten, I've lost that lovin' feelin'. There's an impossible number of ends to weave in and the green and red yarns are slightly different gauges, so the fabric has some major puckering issues. I'm afraid these might sit in my stash for a few years until I have the heart to rip them out.

Felted slippers take 1,000,002:
I must be the last knitter in the world who hasn't tried to make a pair of the Fiber Trends Felted Clogs... but made a pair for my dad for Christmas. I gave them to him pre-felted and pretended to be shocked that they didn't fit. The gag lasted five whole minutes. Post felting, they were perfect. It understandable why this pattern is so popular! I love it, despite having to count like crazy, its a quick pattern and even when I did screw up a bit, felting hid all my sins.

W.I.P ing me into shape:

Tulips (work in progress) - after putting down Tulip to start on holiday knitting this fall I picked it back up. I remember fighting with it this fall, struggling to keep the stitches from falling off the needle and fighting boredom with all miles of micro-stockinette stitches. But now I found the rhythm and its going quickly. Cast on for the front left side yesterday and should finish tonight. Knitting a spring cardi is a great anticdote to all of the endless snow we've been getting.

Also bought some Fiesta Watermark in Santa Fe over Thanksgiving and its been tempting me ever since. What better to show off its charms than Clapotis? The yarn is much chunkier than the pattern gauge suggests, but the patten makes adaptations soo easy, its been a joy to knit.